What do you do when someone tells you that you are in their spot?
Alice came to me the other day with a problem.
She had arrived early for a class and setup her mat in the practice space waiting for the class to start and chatting with some of the other students.
Suddenly a person approached her and said that Alice was in her spot and that Alice would have to move. As you would expect Alice was very upset about this and did not know what to do. After some hesitation and not wanting to cause a confrontation Alice moved her mat and props to a different spot in the room.
Alice thought briefly about leaving the class, but decided instead to stay and work on her yoga practice.
Alice wanted to know what she should have done in that situation.
Let me introduce you to Alice
Alice is a young lady with a young family at home. Both she and her husband work out of the home. She enjoys working for a company across the harbour in Halifax.
Alice recently decided that she needed to do something to increase her flexibility. After looking around at the various options available she decided to give yoga a try.
Alice tried a couple of other studios in the area and eventually gave our studio a try. She decided to stay with our studio because of the comfortable atmosphere that we have. Alice said to me that it felt like coming home, when she comes into our studio. She found the people friendly and approachable. She also found the teachers very knowledgeable and accommodating. Alice really likes the amount of attention she gets from the teachers.
Alice has been attending a variety of classes taught by various teachers at the studio.
Yamas – What are the Yamas
Alice’s situation reminded me of the fifth yama Aparigraha (non covetousness, non attachment) and a couple of events from my past.
Yama is your attitude towards others and the world around you. The Yamas deal with your ethical standards and sense of integrity. Yamas are universal principles that can be thought of in the same was as the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”
There are five Yamas:
- Ahimsa: nonviolence
- Satya: truthfulness
- Asteya: non stealing
- Brahmacharya: continence
- Aparigraha: non covetousness, non attachment
The last of the five Yamas is Aparigraha which is non covetousness or non attachment. This yama applies in this situation.
Some stories about my Spot
Alice’s plight reminded me of a couple of events in my past and I related these stories to Alice.
My Spot
I practice yoga twice a week with my teacher very early in the morning. Usually I am the first person in the room and I always setup my mat in the same spot each day.
It is a very nice spot, in the corner, next to the heater and beneath the skylight. Plus I am far away from the door and the cool air that comes in when the door opens. It is a very nice spot and I am very happy when I am in it.
Occasionally someone else will get to the studio before me. This usually surprises me, since I start practicing at 6:30 am. Once in a while the other person will setup their mat in “my spot”.
My reaction is mostly surprise that there is another person at the studio. Then I realize that I will not be setting my mat up in my usual spot and that I will have to go to another area of the studio. Out of respect for my teacher, I do not setup my mat in her usual spot. I take this as an opportunity to explore another location in her studio. Maybe I will discover another favorite spot.
I take this as an opportunity to practice non attachment.
Workshop spots
Most people when they go to a workshop setup in one spot and stay there the whole time.
I like to move around and take a different spot for each session. There are several advantages to moving around.
- You get to meet more people. Usually people do not move around during a workshop. I can pick another spot and visit with the people in that area.
- You get to observe the workshop leader from a different position each session.
- You may get a different environment. Perhaps it is brighter, cooler, or noisier in this new location.
It is interesting to observe the people as they come in and discover that there is someone already in their spot. They seem a little confused and then they do one of two things.
- They either move somewhere else in the room altogether or
- they setup as close as they can to their previous spot.
The more willing they are to select another spot in the room demonstrates there level of non attachment.
Mysore India spot
My teacher told me this story about her time in Mysore India practicing with Pattabhi Jois.
She would be practicing in the shala very early in the morning. She observed that lots of people were very possessive about “Their Spot” in the shala. They would insist that you move so that they could practice in the same spot every day.
She found this to be very unusual. Their ego was obviously getting in the way of their practice of non attachment.
What should happen
Practice non covetousness
The person demanding that Alice move needs to practice Aparigraha which is the practice of non covetousness or non attachment. They need to be willing to give up and let go.
If you come into the practice space and you discover that your usual spot has been taken, take a moment to observe the reactions that you are having.
Are you angry and upset that someone else is in your favorite spot. Are you going to demand that the other person move. This is covetousness and attachment. You need to be willing to let go of your attachment to that particular spot and move on.
Or are you mildly disappointed that your usual spot has been taken. Are you looking forward to the opportunity to try a different location. Perhaps the view of the teacher will be better in this new location. Maybe the lighting will be better or the air flow will be improved. This second reaction shows a good development of Aparigraha.
Being willing to give up your favorite spot and try a different location is an example of practicing the fifth yama, Aparigraha, of non attachment.
How should Alice react in this situation
Alice should also practice Aparigraha and be willing to give up her spot to the other person. She should realize that the other person needs to develop a greater understanding of this yama and practice more non attachment.
Alice can reflect on how well her sense of non attachment has developed by observing her reaction to the request to move. Was she very upset or was she willing to accommodate the request.
Yoga Etiquette says
From a yoga etiquette point of view, you may have a preferred spot in the room, but you should never demand that another person move so that you can have that spot.
Did Alice do the right thing?
Even though the other person should not have demanded that she move, Alice did the right thing by practicing her own developing sense of Aparigraha and relinquishing her spot.
As it ended up, the new spot that Alice got was right next to the teacher. She was able to get a lot of attention from the teacher and was able to observe the demonstrations clearly.
Do you have yoga Etiquette questions that you would like answered? Add a comment below or send me an email.
What a useful report! I can really empathize with Alice having never taken yoga myself. I would really like to try it but have always worried about what the rules would be, whether I would make a fool of myself, etc. Thanks very much for putting this together. It’s answered loads of my questions!
One question I have that still worries me a little. Maybe you have an article about this already? What kind of support is there for a completely new beginner in a class. I’m very nervous and am very aware that I don’t know the moves or the ‘right’ way of doing things. Is there any advice for this?
Thanks again for this great information! I want to visit your studio : )
Would this not be opening the door to being walked over? As humans, people would take advantage of peoples good values and morals. Alice got there first, by any standards, and morals it should go to her. Alice did the right thing by getting up, thats good. But this other student…If they have a spot, they are probably not new. Shouldn’t they know about the five yamas? If they do, that would be a case of using this knowledge to their advantage. Also are the yamas connected to the chuckras?
It is so helpful to have this information presented in such an easy-to-read format. Your depth of knowledge is impressive and interesting, and I especially appreciate that even though you have such a deep understanding of yoga, you are still able to remember what it was like to be new and a little uncertain and full of questions. Thank you!